Taxi, taxi…

Dear taxi drivers of Yerevan,

Let’s face the facts here, you will never read this open letter. Well, never say never, but I’m 95% sure, it is after all in English, plus  it’s on my personal blog. I just need to get this out of my system.

As I’m a super lazy person, who detests all kinds of public transportation that require standing, bending over and/or squatting (this rules out ALL types of public transportation in Yerevan), I prefer taxis.

Taxi drivers (you won’t mind, if I call you TDs, will you? Of course, you won’t…you’re not reading this), I have some questions for you (rhetorical, obviously…cause, again, none of you is reading this):

  • Why do you think that your taxi is an ashtray?
  • Why don’t you EVER know how to get where I want to go? Isn’t it in your job description to “drive and know where to drive”?
  • Why do you get horribly offended when I offer you directions? It’s only fair I do so, cause you most definitely don’t know how to get to my destination (see previous point)?
  • Why must you scream at every passing car? Why must you then turn around and seek approval and encouragement for being such an ace screamer?
  • Why must you drive either a) like it’s your first time behind the wheel, or b) like you’re in Formula 1 and I’m the only one, who didn’t get the memo?
  • Why do you have only two modes of communication: a) fucking rude and b) fucking creepy?
  • Why do you ask me weird personal questions? (This, btw, falls under “fucking creepy”).
  • Why do you feel the need to share your fascinating life story with me?
  • Why must you charge poor clueless tourists five times the regular fare?
  • Why must you try and scam me for extra money by choosing a particularly long route/driving like a turtle on pot/telling me a sob story?

Look, TDs, I know…Your job is not the most rewarding job in the world. It’s a hard job, and I’m sure you have your reasons for behaving the way you do. BUT. BUT…(ok, this is gonna make me sound like an entitled asshole) I DON’T CARE. Be better at your job. Don’t make an ordeal of each and every day of commute for honest, hard-working people, who have chosen to use your services.

Phew…at least this was therapeutic.

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5 thoughts on “Taxi, taxi…

  1. hahaha! Love it!

    My favourite: why must you insist on repeating the “Kordz chga, pogh chga, garavaroutyoune garavaroutyoun chi” mantra to every tourist that happens to take your taxi?
    PS: this particular mantra seems to be indoctrinated in every driver’s opening speech 😛

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