It wasn’t until Race 2 promotions began with Allah Duhai Hai (click on this link, if you haven’t seen this promo song. It is CRACKED OUT and amazing), that I finally decided to watch Race. I’m glad to say that I loved the shit out of it. It’s ridiculous and improbable and irritating and it has TOO MANY TWISTS (seriously, M. Night Shyamalan is jealous of the amount of twists this movie has), but it’s awesome in its craziness. Also, how can you not love a movie that starts out with a mysterious car crash setup?
We don’t get to see who was the victim of the herpy-derpy truck driver, instead we segue directly to the introduction of our characters.
Ranvir Singh. Lives on the edge. Loves extreme sports and owns a stable.
Monto, the only jockey in the stable. Ranvir is working him into the ground. Poor guy looks about 100 years old.
Sonia. Ranvir’s model “friend”. They haven’t defined the relationship yet.
Although Ranvir would definitely like to get aboard the Sonia train.
Ranvir’s secretary Sophia. She wants a piece of him, but I guess Ranvir is either blind or blinded by Sonia, cause he doesn’t really notice.
Rajiv, the borderline alcoholic younger brother.
Ranvir & co.’s horse loses to
Madan Chopra Kabir’s horse.
Seriously, what does he even mean by that? Ranvir is too deep for my limited brain.
Ranvir & Rajiv spy on Monto, the jockey, and realize that
Madan Chopra Kabir has been bribing him.
And he does. I thought he would maybe threaten Monto or break his arm or beat him up a bit…but half-measures are not for Ranvir. He just straight up blows the poor jockey up. Hey, Ranvir, if you payed that 100 year old jockey a bit more, maybe this wouldn’t happen!
Farewell, Monto…we hardly knew ye.
Oh, remember the assassination attempt that happened in the beginning of the movie?
Somebody was trying to kill off Ranvir! Unsuccessfully.
Apparently the short form for “Ranvir” is “Ronny”. Erm. Moving on…Ronnie recovers pretty soon and throws a cowboy-themed party in the stable.
Sonia shows up.
Rajiv likes what he sees.
He vows to stop drinking if Sonia becomes his girlfriend/wife/second half.
Ronnie takes one for the team and basically hands over Sonia to his bro.
Sonia is a bit rattled at first.
But then the wisdom of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai gets to her.
Ranvir…Rajiv…basically the same difference.
BUT WAIT! TWIST! Sonia is actually a hardened criminal, who has been after Ranvir’s money all along.
Rajiv has a file full of dirt on her and he’s not afraid to use it for blackmail.
Turns out he’s not that good of a bro…he just wants to kill off Ranvir and collect the insurance money.
Sonia and Rajiv are getting married!
After the wedding Rajiv stumbles home totally drunk. Ranvir is outraged and can’t believe his brother is not keeping the promise to stop drinking.
Rajiv’s nefarious plan includes some guilty sexy times for Sonia and Ranvir.
This is just wrong. Ugh, Rajiv…you’re the worst.
Ranvir confesses that he gave Sonia up for his own brother.
Seriously, Rajiv. STOP WATCHING!
And they do it right in front of all the horses. And Rajiv.
A couple of days later, Ranvir is in da club with Sophia (why? Why even ask the question “why?”…it’s RACE!) and he’s totally leading her on.
Even though Sophia is wooing him with “Zara Zara Touch Me”, all Ranvir can think about is his steamy night with Sonia.
Meanwhile Rajiv refreshes Sonia on his genius plan: 1) make Ranvir give up Sonia, 2) vow to give up drinking, 3) get married to Sonia, 4) start drinking again, 5) guilt Ranvir into sleeping with Sonia, 6) “find out” about the Ranvir/Sonia affair, 7) go to the office terrace, 8) call Ranvir and blame him for the affair, 9) get Ranvir to come to the terrace, 10) make Sonia push Ranvir off the terrace.
Sonia is sporting the “bitch, you do all the acting and I do all the killing? WTF?” expression.
SONIA IS IN WITH RANVIR! She’s been telling him about his brother’s plan!
The plan is in motion.
EVEN THOUGH IN THE PREVIOUS TWIST WE FOUND OUT THAT SONIA IS WORKING WITH RANVIR, SHE STILL PUSHES HIM OFF THE OFFICE TERRACE!