Fanaa (Photo Recap Pt. 2)

Part 1

It’s 7 years later, and Tabu hasn’t aged a day. Rehan’s terrorist group has been busy all this time by building a nuclear explosive device from scratch. It’s almost ready – they only need an Indian trigger to activate it (this doesn’t make sense on SO MANY LEVELS.) There are like 6 triggers in the whole of India and they’re all being brought to Delhi for safe-keeping, cause the Intelligence Agency hasn’t heard of the old “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” strategy.

We cut to a helicopter, which is transporting one of the trigger thingies. Aaaaaand who is there handing out poison tea like there’s no tomorrow? Well, that’s our ace terrorist Rehan!

He kills off all the soldiers on the helicopter, steals the trigger and escapes. Indian soldiers chase him in awesome snow camouflage suits, but they all end up dead, cause he’s just THAT good. He does get stabbed at some point, though.

A tired, wounded Rehan ends up at the only house in the area.

OMFG OMFG IT’S ZOONI!

But she’s actually calling out for…dun dun dun…REHAN, HER SON! THERE’S TWO OF THEM NOW!

This kid…this kid. Let me just say it upfront, I kind of hate this kid. He is SIX, why is he still referring to himself in the third person? Ugh.

We find out that Zooni’s Mom has died and she lives with Rehan Jr. and her alcoholic Dad. Bummer. The situation is exacerbated by Rehan Sr. being a jerk.

He’s not jerk for long, though. Rehan Jr. soon wants to call him “Dad”.

After spending a couple of days with Zooni and the child, Rehan decides to come clean. Well, he kind of lies about being an Indian soldier on a secret mission, but he does admit that he is Rehan!

Alcoholic Dad has some wise words for Zooni. But she is furious at Rehan for making her believe he was dead and refuses to take him back.

Sad Rehan Sr. decides to leave the next morning, but…

They get married instead!

TV channels start broadcasting a warning about a terrorist with a “Portable Nuclear Warhead Detonation Device” on the loose. WHO DOES THAT? That’s like a surefire way to start collective hysteria in the country.

OF COURSE, Rehan Sr. has the trigger laying around in plain sight. Of course. Cause he’s a genius terrorist mastermind and that’s what they do. I mean, if even alkie Rishi Kapoor can find it…that’s a definite FAIL, Rehan.

After discovering the trigger, Rishi volunteers to drive Rehan to his friend Colonel’s house, supposedly so Rehan can contact the army. He tries to be a hero…

…but ends up being thrown off a cliff (in one of the most fake-looking scenes in the history of cinema).

Rehan gets to Colonel’s house and lets his Grandpa, the lead terrorist, know that he has the trigger and is alive.

Meanwhile, Zooni is out with Rehan Jr., when she comes across her Dad’s dead body floating under ice.

She gets back home, where Rehan lies through his teeth.

By this time, the Intelligence Agency has come up with a sketch of Rehan, that doesn’t look ANYTHING like him. Get some better sketch artists, people.

Zooni puts two and two together (FINALLY!), gets the trigger from Rehan’s army jacket (again…leaving that freaking trigger unattended is the height of stupidity) and escapes to Colonel’s house…

…only to find lots of un-mopped blood. Which is just SLOPPY, Rehan.

She radios the Indian army to tell them she’s got the trigger to a NUCLEAR DEVICE, and her husband is the genius terrorist and they get back to her by saying they’ll be there next morning. FOR REAL?

Next morning, Rehan Sr. shows up, having walked the whole night, and starts asking stupid questions.

He snatches that blasted trigger from Zooni, saying that his Grandpa, the main terrorist, will definitely torture Rehan Jr., if they don’t give up the trigger. He also promises her that no one will actually set off the nuclear bomb.

Rehan Sr. starts talking like Rehan Jr., so it’s definitely time for him to DIE.

We cut to Zooni and Rehan Jr. at Rehan Sr.’s grave.

Yeah, Rehan Jr., your Father was kind of a bad man, cause he killed innocent people (even your own Grandpa), blew up buildings and lied to your Mom. But your Mom’s not gonna tell you that! NO! She’s just gonna gloss over the ugly truth and talk about herself in the third person.

THE END.