Jab Tak Hai Jaan (Photo Recap Pt. 4)

Part 1,  Part 2 and Part 3 of the recap.

Head trauma again for poor Samar. And this time accompanied by the usual…

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He has the retrograde kind and can’t remember anything that happened after the first accident (helpful tip, dear writers, if you have TWO head trauma inducing accidents in one movie, please go back to the writing room and try ANYTHING else). He’s asking for Meera, and Akira seeks her out.

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Meera is apparently married to Rog, our gora underdog and has a grown daughter.

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She’s not completely heartless and goes along with the charade.

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Meera lies to him that they’ve been married for 5 years and have been together for the past 10. She also clears up a few things with Akira.

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Rog and his daughter are just good friends!

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The girls conspire to keep Samar in the dark about the whole situation until he recovers. Samar moves in with Meera…and then SHE COMMITS A SIN AGAINST SEXINESS BY SHAVING OFF THAT GLORIOUS STUBBLE..

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To trigger his memories Akira  meets up with Samar and spends some time with him in his old hangouts.

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She realizes that the grumpy Samar she knows was a very hyper and happy person in the past. It’s all because of Sir Jesus and Meera that he’s changed. She meets up with Meera again and tells her to stop with the Jesus nonsense.

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Meanwhile Samar is taking the subway, when a bomb threat warning sounds off.

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This triggers Samar’s memory and he goes in to defuse the bomb. YEAH. The London subway security just lets a random guy defuse a bomb. Just because he spews a couple of technical terms. With all the racial profiling, they would have probably killed him on the spot.

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Anyway.

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Later that day he calls Meera to Sir Jesus’s special church to renew their vows.

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He tells her that he remembers everything and intends to go back to defusing bombs in India.

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Aaaand Samar is back in the army! AND THE BEARD IS BACK! THANK SIR JESUS!

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So is Meera! Who has finally realized that the whole Sir Jesus thing is bullshit, Samar’s beard is amazing and she doesn’t want to end up alone.

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Samar defuses his last bomb successfully and comes back with the cheapest engagement ring ever (ok, I’ll admit it was kind of romantic).

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Well, Akira was probably heartbroken…but still!

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Jab Tak Hai Jaan (Photo Recap Pt. 3)

Part 1 and Part 2 of the recap.

Akira is persistent. She manages to wrangle out an assignment from the Discovery Channel to basically stalk her crush.

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Of course, Samar saves her from an explosion. He also fixes her un-fixable camera and entices her with his magical singing.

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Akira’s stalkerish obsession starts to grow.

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Being the modern girl she is, Akira is straightforward.

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But in all this flirting, stalking and obsessing our girl really falls for the soldier.

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The two weeks of the assignment are over and she leaves for London.

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The honchos at Discovery Channel lurve Samar’s story (it’s the beard…it’s hypnotizing), and want him to come down to London.

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He’s not into the idea of going to London at first, but changes his mind pretty quickly and surprises Akira at the Discovery Channel HQ.

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And then this happens.

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It’s like the third time he’s saving her life. How is she still alive?

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Part 4

Jab Tak Hai Jaan (Photo Recap Pt. 2)

Part 1 of the recap.

Meera is conflicted. She’s singing at her Dad’s birthday party, but hallucinating about Samar. And I’ve seen enough Bollywood movies to know that hallucinations during a song are a sign of true love.

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However, there’s a glitch. See, Meera loves her Dad very VERY much. Her Dad wants her to marry Roger, the gora guy. She can’t break her Dad’s heart…cause years ago her Mom dumped her Dad (flawless logic, I know!). She meets Samar and tells him the sad story of her Dad’s heartbreak. Samar is not impressed, but agrees to remain “very good friends”. Meera makes a promise to Sir Jesus to never cross the line of friendship with Samar (she obviously hasn’t seen Kuch Kuch Hota Hai…Meera, girl, everyone knows PYAAR DOSTI HAI!).

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In a shocking development, Meera’s Mom contacts her before the wedding. Meera calls up Samar and they go down to a vineyard in England (?), where all the misunderstandings are cleared up in a jiffy.

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With no family drama standing in the way, there’s only one thing left to do – make out in different settings!

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And then…

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Even though our hero was wearing a helmet (VERY rare occurrence in a Hindi film), he gets into an accident, proving that helmets are stupid and unnecessary.

In a tribute to The End of the Affair, Meera promises Sir Jesus to never meet Samar, if he manages to survive the accident.

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Sir Jesus is a man/deity of his word, cause he instantly revives Samar.

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Instead of behaving like an adult and trying to talk Meera out of her stupid promise, Samar goes to see Sir Jesus.

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END FLASHBACK!

Akira is impressed (most of it is the beard, let’s be real).

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Samar doesn’t want to talk about his feud with Sir Jesus.

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Part 3Part 4.

Jab Tak Hai Jaan (Photo Recap Pt. 1)

Jab Tak Hai Jaan was the cinematic event of 2012 that got me back into being a full-time Shah Rukh Khan fangirl. Regardless of its faults (which are not as few as I’d like them to be) I love this movie and the photo recap that follows is intended to be a loving homage.

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The biggest weaknesses of JTHJ are helpfully encircled in red.

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Our hero is the strong, silent type. He defuses bombs, saves drowning girls and rides his motorcycle without a helmet.

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Right after saving the girl, he rudely leaves her and rides off  helmet-less on his motorcycle without so much as a “You’re welcome”. He doesn’t know that he has saved a young, curious and annoyingly spunky Discovery Channel intern (those are the worst).

Later that day, Akira, the intern, finds something interesting in his army jacket.

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AND…FLASHBACK!

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It’s our bearded hero! But without a beard! And in London! Shoveling snow in a church yard! And admiring a young NRI beauty!

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In a somewhat idiotic speech, our young NRI beauty is thanking “Sir Jesus” for all the help in topping her exams and promising she’ll never eat chocolate in return. If you ask me, that’s an uneven bargain, Sir Jesus. Also, as I faintly recall, this same “bargaining with Jesus for gora boyfriends and good grades” thing was used in Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. I guess plagiarism is acceptable if inane plot points are copied from one YRF film to another.

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 Basically, he’s in love.

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By now we know that our hero’s name is Samar Anand, so I’ll start calling him that. Samar is an Indian guy, who tries to get by in London by working multiple jobs and busking his ass off. He’s easy-going, helpful and happy-go-lucky. One day, when he’s waitressing for a big engagement party, he comes across the NRI beauty again. Unfortunately, it’s her engagement party he’s waitressing for. She’s getting engaged to a gora!

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NRI beauty recognizes Samar from his street performances. Samar implies she’s not that into her gora fiance. She denies it. Sparks fly! And then…

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NRI beauty aka Meera asks Samar to teach her how to sing in Punjabi. Yeah. She’s a millionaire who can get certified Punjabi/singing/music tutors in 5 seconds and she goes to a waiter/street musician? Anyhoo…the naach-gaana lessons lead to a ghetto disco party.

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Flirting and dancing ensue!

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Our hero comes clean.

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AND THEN SHAH RUKH KHAN TOTALLY IGNORES HIS “NO KISSING” RULE AND MAKES OUT WITH KATRINA KAIF!

Ahem. Samar takes a chance and kisses Meera. Chastely.

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Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.