Ek Tha Tiger (Photo Recap Pt. 2)

After the dramatic conclusion of the first part of this recap, we cut to Delhi, where Tiger is explaining that he REALLY really had to kill somebody during this particular assignment.

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He’s riding home with one of the RAW agents one night, when…

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Shocker! Tiger puts two and two together and realizes that somebody’s sending him a coded message. It’s not a very hard code to crack, as the intercepted messages state that “Zee TV is going to be covering the UN Foreign Minister’s Peace Summit in Istanbul. Is Doordarshan going to be covering the event?”. That’s some lameass coding, if you ask me. I mean, even worst RAW agent Tiger cracked it.

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Sure enough, during the Peace summit…

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UNDEAD ZEE! Is she a vampire now?

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No such luck…Zee wasn’t the one Tiger killed in Dublin. We flashback to before the intermission and witness Tiger killing off Feroz aka the guy who stole his phone. Zoya was spared and that’s how she has been sending him lamely coded messages.

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They sneak out of the summit and Zee confesses her love for Tiger.

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All sense of honor and duty is forgotten, as they make plans to ditch the service and live together happily ever after.

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Although it seems that Zee is trying to get Tiger into the hands of some extremely attractive ISI agents.

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Tiger overhears her scheming with the hotties, but decides to follow his heart and not his secret agent instinct.

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It turns out Zoya was just bluffing with the studs and she actually wants to run away with Tiger.

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Those disguises are blowing my mind, by the way.

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Worst secret agents in the history of RAW and ISI hide out in Cuba. Their days are spent frolicking on the beaches and enjoying the warm climate. The idyllic lifestyle doesn’t last, unfortunately.

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 They’re out on a walk, when unsuspecting muggers hit them up. Sure enough, Tiger and Zoya beat all of them up and the whole thing is caught on camera.

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You are secret agents, people! Do some goddamn work! Find the tape and destroy it or something!

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Although, I probably wouldn’t run, if this guy was the one chasing me. The comeback of the hottie ISI agents!

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Zee and Tiger are forced to leave with the ISI agents, but on their way to the ISI cars, what little training they had kicks in and they manage to escape.

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I would have bet on Tiger to be caught first, but it’s Zee who is led away in handcuffs.

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Gopi, the only competent RAW agent is also in Cuba and Tiger tries to get some help from him to rescue Zee from the handsome clutches of ISI spies.

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Tiger convinces him that Zoya will cooperate with India and spill all Pakistani secrets, if they rescue her. AND GOPI FALLS FOR IT! GOPI, YOU WERE MY ONLY HOPE IN THIS MOVIE, COME ON, MAN!

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With the help of RAW agents, Tiger  manages to flee with Zee.

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RAW and ISI agents both are after them, but when you’ve got a plane and a motorcycle, there’s nothing much highly trained secret agents can do.

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Agent Zee and Agent Doordarshan escape, never to be seen again. They finally make use of their dormant professional skills and manage to hide away for good. Either that or RAW and ISI don’t want to spend precious resources on two mediocre (being generous here) spies.

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Ek Tha Tiger (Photo Recap Pt. 1)

Once there was a Tiger. Tiger was a highly trained undercover agent for RAW. It’s unclear why his nickname was Tiger. Was it because he looked like a Tiger? Was it because he was badass like a Tiger? Was it because he tended to kill a lot of people during his assignments? Was it because he sucked at every other aspect of being an undercover agent? I personally think the person who nicknamed him may have been going for Tigger and just skipped the extra “g” for numerological reasons.

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Our story starts with Tiger killing about a hundred ISI agents in Iraq, cause that’s just how he rolls.

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RAW boss Shenoy is tired of the unnecessary body count, cause he assigns Tiger to tail an eccentric scientist in Ireland.

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The Nutty Professor is suspected to be in cahoots with Pakistan.

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Hello, Tiger, bete, you are supposed to be an undercover agent, na? Be more obvious, dude!

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Tiger’s idea of stealth is busting into the Nutty Professor’s house and getting shooed out by the housekeeper/dance student Zoya.

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Zoya’s a softie, cause after getting  Tiger out of the house, she befriends him at an alarming speed.

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Doordarshan is a fun nickname, but it’s a bitch to type out.

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Zee, beti, he was breaking and entering five minutes ago, maybe rethink inviting him over?

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Soon, Zee and Tiger are flirting up a storm.

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Gopi, another RAW agent is in Dublin and it seems he’s tailing our boy Tiger to make sure he doesn’t screw up.

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Tiger does need supervision, cause he has totally forgotten The Nutty Professor in favor of Zee.

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10 years in the industry and still with the accent…

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After the unsuccessful Hindi lesson, hapless Tiger is attacked and robbed at his home. At this point, I’m considering changing his nickname from Tiger/Doordarshan to Dopey. WORST SECRET AGENT EVER.

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Undeterred by the fact that possible rival agents are onto him, Tiger continues pursuing Zee.

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Zoya abruptly walks away after almost kissing him (RUDE!). But our Tiger is not discouraged easily, so the next day he grabs a huge bouquet and heads to see the play Zoya is starring in.

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On his way there, he sees the phone thieg/possible ISI agent.

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Tiger chases the guy down with disastrous results. The chase scene is kickass and all, but he doesn’t catch the guy! I mean, how hard is it to nab ONE freaking person if your nickname is TIGER?

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Leaving the further pursuit of the ISI agent to Gopi, Tiger goes to Zoya’s Pinocchio play. Which…I wish all Western plays/operas/ballets were really the way Bollywood movies portray them.

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In the middle of the highly exciting Irish dancing, Gopi calls with bad news.

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Tiger barges into the Nutty Professor’s house, only to discover…

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…that Zee has been an undercover ISI Agent all along!

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DUN DUN DUN!

Part 2